Chris Rachael Oseland

Neatorama continually beams a little sunshine into my days.

I have a fascination with maps of the world that never was. My walls are strewn with prints of The Island Of California, Australia’s that occupy 1/3 of the globe, and lumpy potato shaped South Americas. It’s all metaphor. Oklahoma is shaped like a broken pan because we say so, not because there’ a giant red line separating it from Kansas and Texas. For most people, maps are merely a convenient way to visualize the world. I like the thought that, for all practical purposes, the world has taken on a lot of different shapes over time.

If you’re in a mood to screw with your mental map of home, check out the 39 States of North America.

Monday morning and I feel incredibly behind. This weekend, I planned on pre-writing a week and a half of posts for Grocery Schoolso I could run away to ComicCon with a clear conscience. That didn’t happen.

While I’m in San Diego, my other editor would like me to crank out a couple articles a day for Fancast. That’ll actually be fun. I’ll have a microphone and an excuse to introduce myself to assorted media types. I’m still trying to come up with a few good staple questions so I don’t trip over my tongue. That’s what the plane flight’s for.

Having grown up in SF fandom, I consider myself something of an old hand at cons. This one looks like a totally different beast. I suppose when your attendance is larger than the population of many American towns, scale changes things.

Apparently, ComicCon is a lot like Six Flags for nerds. You spend a lot more time in line for something neat than you do enjoying the actual features. To hell with traveling light. I’m packing my laptop so I can cram my writing in during that wasted time.

Tonight, I really wish I could attend a friend’s birthday dinner, but I have to do my last minute shopping, laundry, and packing. I leave work and head to the airport tomorrow.

While I’m away, my most high-need and persnickity client will be at his trade show. If the slightest thing goes wrong, I’m bracing myself for voicemails full of screaming when I deplane.

Another 2 hours of sleep would go a very long way towards increased productivity right now.

Excuse me while I geek out for a moment, folks. I just read the final Y: The Last Man trade paperback, and with it, I lost most of my respect for Brian K. Vaughn.

Don’t click through if you don’t want spoilers. [Read more →]

 I own a perfectly good toaster. I can’t justify $75 for a $15 appliance. But…this is fracking brilliant.

Who needs a lawn gnome or a dragon guarding your garden? Protect your azalias from bunnies and squirrels with Toscano’s lawn zombie. Half buried in the ground, desperately hungry for living flesh, your personal zombie will feast on the tiny brains of any woodland creatures daring to come near your daffodils.

Also an excellent way to dispose of exes, annoying coworkers, and those darn kids who won’t get off your lawn.

The allergist informed me it IS all in my head - but alas not in my imagination. On an average day, half of my sinuses are permanently blocked by congestion. The other half are severely swollen. He brought a resident in to take a look at me so he could see a textbook case in real life.

He’s bumped me up to three daily drugs with two more as-needed. The doctor told me frankly if you’re on more than 5 drugs they spend more time reacting with one another than they do treating your symptoms. With five a day just for allergies that means I better not ever get sick or need medication for any other illnesses.

In the long run, I can either move to the coast or I can resign myself to a lifetime of half effective medications with no known long term side effects. That’s not true. One of the drugs is a nasal steroid. Long term use has the charming side effect of eating through people’s nasal cartilage.

This isn’t what I wanted to hear. Things are going well for me here in Louisville. My day job, my part time writing gig, and my vast herd of minions are all here. So is a source of daily pain and frustration.

Apparently I have some serious long term thinking to do. Damnit.

Go nerd music! Go kid’s songs! This rocks at live concerts!

My weekend’s left me too busy to brag.

First, I had another guest spot over at Fancast. These things are ephemeral. Top of the page today, forgotten archive filler tomorrow. Still, the only thing I love more than writing is getting paid to do it.

Second, I was invited to submit a script for a web show. I have a great deal of respect for the editor. Having him imply I’m up to his standards for funny is an honor. There’s also cash involved. If he decides he likes what he sees, I’m pretty stoked about the way my resume will shape up over the next year.

A paid daily gig demonstrating my ability to produce quality content on demand, occasional paid guest gigs demonstrating my range, and hopefully links to polished videos produced from my scripts. Not too shabby.

I’ll be out of town two weeks over the next two months (not counting day trips across the state for client meetings.) Once those are past, I plan to abuse networking contacts with Leo, Velocity, or any other paying gigs I can find in order to flesh out that writing resume some more.

Tonight, though, I need to crawl into bed and rest up for a long day of being screamed at my an irate client at work tomorrow. I’ve been unavailable for three whole days over the holiday weekend. I’m sure he’s thought up all new profanity just for me.